Cant Walk A Straight Line

 Today I woke up with a heaviness but also some clarity. I realized that for most of my life I've been waiting for someone else to tell me I'm enough. My parents didn't and my husband surely didn't through his affair. And for so long I thought there silence and betrayal said something about me.

But it DOESN'T

I have to remember there inability to love me says more about them than it ever did about me.

Ive spent too much time and energy trying to prove I'm lovable. Trying to be the right kind of daughter the right kind of partner and the right kind of woman. Its made me tired.

So today I'm choosing myself!

Not because I'm perfect or because I have it all figured out but because I do believe I deserve love!Even with my brokenness I deserve love. I also deserve Peace and Joy!

Im not going to be defined by who hurt me or what mistakes I've made. Im going to allow myself to grow, to forgive myself, to heal and to bloom!

Healing definitely won't be a straight line. Im going to stumble and fall...knowing me, probably A LOT! There will be days when the past will hard at me but on those days I'll try to remind myself its going to be okay and to keep going!

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