Here we GO!!!

 So Ive been told that journaling (blogging) will help me put into words my feelings and hopefully help me start healing.

Where do I begin?

Theres a pain I carry that began before I ever even understood what pain was. As a chid I learned whether through words, silence or criticism that I had to earn love. That who I was just never quite measured up. I grew up knowing I was only conditionally worthy and that feeling was easily fleeting if I made a mistake.

Then when I got older and thought I had found someone who truly saw me, loved me and for the first time in my life made me feel safe with, I was betrayed. My husbands choice to cheat didn't just break trust, it reopened a wound that says "Im not enough" Not lovable enough and once again not good enough.

It feels like the world keeps confirming the lie I learned during childhood. BUT ITS A LIE! I know deep down I didn't cause the pain others inflicted on me but that doesn't stop the hurt or the thoughts from rising. Im desperate for someone to see me who doesn't need me to be anything more than just myself.

Im not sure what comes next. I just know I'm tired of chasing worth. I want to believe I'm enough even with all my broken pieces. I want to feel enough even without someone else's attention to prove it.

Comments

  1. Momma WMay 18, 2025 at 12:22 PM

    Please know you ARE enough & never let someone let you feel like you are not. 💕

    ReplyDelete

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